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PARENTING CHALLENGES
by Simone Westone
http://www.diaparenting.com
Unless you've been a parent, you have no idea of what
parenting is. It's especially amusing to hear someone who
has never even baby sat the neighbors kids, give an opinion
on what being a parent is all about. If you're lucky, you
can have children, but just having a child does not make
one a parent unless she or he sticks around long enough
to raise that child, watch him/her grow, and agonize on
whether the decision you've made for your child is the right
one.
A common complaint child doctors and psychologists hear
about is the stubborn child, the one that insists on doing
things his or her way - regardless! Keep in mind that most
children go through a stubborn phase, which is perfectly
normal. During this time, the child is starting to show
some independence. However, for the truly stubborn child,
you probably already know that when it comes to getting
something done, no amount of begging, threatening, coaxing,
or bribing will work. Many times, parents will respond to
a child's stubbornness with anger but remind yourself that
this type of reaction will only fuel the fire.
Typically, when a child expresses stubbornness, it is that
child's way of showing assertiveness to get attention.
Because of this, you can take your child's actions of
stubbornness as a clue that you need to provide more
attention, but the right type of attention. Perhaps your
child is being bullied at school but afraid to tell you.
It could be that your child has some kind of fear but is
not sure how to express it. Therefore, instead of feeling
angry or even frustrated, look at your child's stubbornness
as his or her way of trying to communication about
something.
It's not so easy being a young one either. Everyone is
bigger than they are, they are not allowed to do very much
at all. They don't get to touch what they want, eat what
they want, and everyone is telling them what to do. No
wonder they get frustrated at times. If this behavior
continues, maybe trying to seek out why they are being a
certain way. Maybe they feel they need more attention,
being a working parent is hard also and you wish you
could spend more time with your child. Try talking with
your child and ask them. Remember though, this is a child,
not a "little adult." Don't "baby talk" to them either
but show respect to him/her and allow them to have their
say.
Children learn at a very early age how to be great
manipulators and they will try to see how far you can be
pushed before you will give up and allow them to have their
way. Show them there are rules for everybody and we must
abide by them. If he or she is out playing and you tell
them to be in the house for dinner in 15 minuets then stick
to it. If they don't come in when you tell them, there will
be consequences.
We try the best we can with our children, and we hope that
as they grow older, they will grow into worthwhile and
decent human beings. Don't push them to grow up too fast,
try to enjoy what age they are now and cherish every moment
your in their lives. They really will grow up right before
your eyes and one day, standing in front of you will be a
beautiful young man or woman. You will be very proud of
them and then you will wonder where all the time went, and
how could it have gone by so fast. You hope you have given
them enough common sense to get by in this world, along
with the kindness to others and the morals of what's right
and what's wrong.
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